Wads

I'm not going to over-do it today. Even though I want to maintain some kind of productivity, I've decided to try and cut back on the verbosity.
And I think it's because I was reminded that I have a therapy appointment to go to tomorrow!

The productivity issue arose as I began to think about my "not-so-productive" behaviors; which came about because I was contemplating the topic of "balance" that seems to come up at every Therapy appointment I attend.

Unfortunately, I have this tendency towards perfectionism - which in and of itself is bad enough. But I also have this tendency towards procrastination - which, as you no doubt can guess, is not the most compatible pair of tendencies to possess.

In short, what I am saying is that I'm the type of person who can sit on my couch for hours at a time, looking at my messy (imperfect) home - getting all upset that it's not "just right" - whilst at the same time having no motivation to do anything about it whatsoever!

How's that for balance?

I'm sure I'm not the only one by far. I'm sure many people do the same thing. Like with exercise...
You know? You decide you want to do it and you want to get all healthy and in shape. So you go and purchase the gear you need to do it with and you have this idea that you are going to be so disciplined and perfect. You start by setting up an enjoyable and lively routine and you get totally into the groove with Madonna every day without fail. Day in and day out. Then after about two weeks you start to feel really, really good about yourself. And because you are so happy about how good you feel, you decide to "treat" yourself to a day off because, well, you've been doing it so dutifully and doing it so devotedly every, single day that you undeniably deserve a day to yourself.
But here's where it turns sour...

You give yourself the one day; but then that one day somehow turns in to one week and then that one week somehow turns in to one month and then that one month somehow turns in to two - and on it goes. Before you know it, that perfect plan has silently eased its way back onto the bottom of your mental "to-do" list where it naggingly remains until you have the energy to bring it back to the top again.

There is a phrase that circulates my house-hold. A phrase that is not the most literate of expressions and a phrase that would certainly not be heard rolling off my therapist's tongue. It is a phrase often projected at me or on to me by the other adult under this roof when he sees the enthusiasm waning from activities that were previously being undertaken with gusto. He will say with some vindicatory glee:
"You shot your wad!"
"You went steaming in - and you shot your wad!"


Therefore, in the interest of keeping my wad from shooting and in a determined effort to find some kind of therapeutic balance, I am going to shut up and run a relaxing, warm bath whilst I leisurely deliberate my next post!

So much for cutting back on the verbosity...
Gotta work on that...


L.