Dear Cathy

Dear Cathy,
I write to you today on behalf of Jon Stewart and myself with an URGENT plea.
On behalf of us both, after reading your "P.S." on Mia Zucca , we respectfully request that you reconsider your romantic allegiance and return to the one who is truly deserving of your attention.

Jon and I understand that you may have felt some sympathy for Sting last night.
After all, to the untrained eye, it may have looked as if Sting was getting Stung by The Edge during Letterman's Top Ten List.
But it was no such thing.
It was a harmless quip.
A loving Irish Kiss from one grown man to another.
And certainly not an offense to warrant Bono getting involved.

We are very concerned.
And we feverishly beseech you NOT to confuse sympathy with love.
Sympathy is for the Devil.
Love is for Jon.

So. Without purposely trying to sound like an advertisement for floor mops and wipes, we both get on our knees and beg of you please ...
"Baby Come Back!"

Sincerely,
L and J.x